Today, I found a blogger and person on Twitter named Josh Hood (twitter: @JoshuaMHood). I browsed through his tweets and he makes some pretty inspirational quotes. One example: "Less than 12% of what you're communicating has to do with the actual words you're saying. Pastors: master non-verbal communication!"
I'm no pastor, but this information is important for every human being. Communication is often linked to verbal only and this is a nice reminder that so many things we say, don't say or physical actions indicate our feelings. When people roll their eyes at someone else's comment, that speaks so much louder then any verbal words. So, I kept reading down Josh's tweet page and decided to go to his blog. I found the following post: The Duggar Family’s 21 House Guidelines . After reading this article, which lists the 'house guidelines' that the Duggars follow and have listed on their refrigerator, I felt inspired to make them the focus of today's post.
Many people I know are very judgmental about the Duggar Family and most Americans know who they are. Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar have a reality show with their 19 - soon to be 20 children. Since they started their show, they have become the highest-rated show ever on the Discovery Channel. I try to be very objective when I hear new and unusual things. I guess 20 kids isn't too strange for me since I come from 1 of 8 kids and I've known many people over the years that came from large families of up to 13 kids. 20 kids is higher all the families I've known. All that being said, I thought the Duggars situation was peculiar and never pushed too much into their story until I heard more and more judgmental comments about the family. After doing some research (which involved reading some online material, watching a couple interviews, and viewing their show a half dozen times myself), I've realized that this family is probably more stable than most Americans I know.
I'm currently trying to work on some anger-management that has built up over the years. When I get frustrated, I am quick to yell or call people names. This especially comes out when I'm not agreeing with my husband. I know so many people can relate to this, but I logically know that it's not the best behavior and needs to change. It's a habit and cycle that I'm working on fixing. So some advice given to me recently was to "never yell, the softer the voice, the more the situation is diffused". Well, the first rule on the Duggars' guidelines: "1. Always use soft words, even when you don’t feel well." That first rule already hits home so I had to go through them all. Here they are:
Duggar House Guidelines:
1. Always use soft words, even when you don’t feel well.
2. Always display kind actions and joyful attitudes, even if you have been mistreated. Have the right response by quickly forgiving others in your heart even before they ask.
3. Always be enthusiastic and look for opportunities to praise others’ character.
4. Always deflect praise and be grateful to God and others for the ways they have benefited your life.
5. Always use manners and be respectful of others and their belongings.
6. Always do what is right, even when others may not, or when no one is looking.
7. Thank God for how He made you, for what He has given you and everything He allows you to go through. (Romans 8:28)
8. Don’t mock or put others down. Develop compassion and pray for others.
9. Never argue, complain, or blame. Quickly admit when you have done wrong and ask for forgiveness (even if you were only 10% at fault). Don’t wait till you’re caught. Be sure your sins will find you out. He who covers his sin will not prosper, but he that confesses and forsakes it shall find mercy.
10. Have a tough accountability/prayer partner to daily share your heart with and to keep you in line (your parents, spouse). The power of sin is in secrecy.
11. Be attentive and look for ways to serve others with sincere motives and no thought of self-gain.
12. Think pure thoughts (Philippians 4:8, Romans 13:14).
13. Always give a good report of others. Don’t gossip! Never tale-bear unless physical harm will come to someone. (Use Matthew 18.)
14. Never raise a hand to hit.
15. Never raise a foot to kick.
16. Never raise an object to throw.
17. Never raise a voice to yell.
18. Never raise an eye to scowl.
19. Use one toy/activity at a time. Share!
20. Do your best to keep your surroundings neat, clean and organized.
21. Never let the sun go down on your wrath. (Don’t go to bed angry or guilty)
22. Amendment J.O.Y. – Put Jesus first, Others second, Yourself last.
The Duggars are 100% debt-free and don't rely on any government program or community outreach to support their growing family. They went through a Financial Freedom Seminar through Jim Sammons (see Embassy Institute). This family has managed to create a system to support themselves and create chores and tasks within the family to make it function with a great deal of success. Of course, when generousity is offered, it's not turned down - most of us wouldn't so the size of the family is irrelevant. However, just that is a feat in itself. How many people can you name that are constantly relying on family, friends, strangers or government to maintain their life and get assistance? I know many people that are struggling with their current situation and they may only be supporting 1 or 2 kids. I'm not trying to put down those that need help because we all need help at points in our life. However, so many people are upset, literally upset, with the Duggar family because those that are upset only know that the Duggar family have so many children. These people don't know their background or current situation and when I've heard these comments, the person making it has no details beyond the number of kids that are in the family. They just make assumptions based on the size of the family and think that America is supporting them through our taxes.
The truth is, the Duggar family is probably more productive in society than a good portion of Americans. If people were as successful in business as this family is with each other, it would be a very well-run company. I just want to remind people that you need to fully understand a situation before you make judgment - or better yet, save the judgment for a higher power and worry about your own situation. This family is the least of America's troubles and if anything, they offer great insight to how we can improve our own situations. If they can have be free of debt, I certainly can figure it out with my husband and 3 kids!
I've wanted to defend the Duggars for quite some time because I've heard so much negative things about this family when I believe just the opposite of them. They are great role models and although I don't consider myself on the extreme end of religion and therefore don't have the same belief system as the Duggars, I can still respect this family for the good they have done and continue to do. Obviously, their belief system is working for them so there's more I could learn from them. To read more about this family go to The Duggar Family
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